August 6, 2008
Creep everybody out with bizzare requests and try to figure out how long 20 minutes actually is.

Creep everybody out with bizzare requests and try to figure out how long 20 minutes actually is.

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Hide from “The Man” and listen to Miles

Hide from “The Man” and listen to Miles

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August 5, 2008
Sleep in the office in your underpants until you a) fix your glasses and b) the wife is no longer mad at you because you slept with an account manager’s secretary. Also, do not bore your creative director with stories about the artsy photos you took back in Michigan.

Sleep in the office in your underpants until you a) fix your glasses and b) the wife is no longer mad at you because you slept with an account manager’s secretary. Also, do not bore your creative director with stories about the artsy photos you took back in Michigan.

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Call every number on the phone bill until you find your husband’s mistress and then fatten him up and tease him with the baby sitter.

Call every number on the phone bill until you find your husband’s mistress and then fatten him up and tease him with the baby sitter.

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Bring plenty copies of the issue of Atlantic Monthly that your short story was published in to impress the girls in the steno pool.

Bring plenty copies of the issue of Atlantic Monthly that your short story was published in to impress the girls in the steno pool.

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August 4, 2008
Pretend not to notice that your boyfriend is in the closet.

Pretend not to notice that your boyfriend is in the closet.

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Learn how to make a Tom Collins for Mommy as well as the difference between a crushed cherry and a smashed cherry.

Learn how to make a Tom Collins for Mommy as well as the difference between a crushed cherry and a smashed cherry.

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Recommend that they read an Ayn Rand novel.

Recommend that they read an Ayn Rand novel.

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Steal a typewriter because you’re a writer.

Steal a typewriter because you’re a writer.

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